If I were to Name Victoria’s Secret’s ‘Refreshing Body Mists’

First of all, it’s not perfume. I really don’t know how to explain what mist is. But I feel like it’s supposed to be this mysterious hybrid of liquid and gas which creates this aura of sweet, hypnotizing sensuality. At least that’s what I felt way back sophomore year in college, when a male classmate of mine walked past me, took a step backward and (I am not kidding) sniffed me and said ‘Hhmm..You smell nice. Love spell?” which of course made the unknowing sophomore blush. But now that I think about it, he was probably gay. C’mon, it is common for guys to give compliments but an immediate scent reference? Puh lease.

Anyway, my sudden interest in VS Body Mists was a product of waiting for my mom to pay in the cashier. The new design of the said cologne actually caught my eye. However, it was the label that got me attentive all of a sudden.

Who comes up with these titles? Or better yet, who approves them? I’m not saying they’re tacky or corny but I gotta hand it to them and their knack for words. I know it’s all part of the VS concept of ‘sweet subtle seduction’ but I really am amazed at the talent of these people because it does have quite an effect to the lowly consumer. Like when I read ‘Sheer Love’, I suddenly felt cheeky and wanted to smell all of them! But everything changed when I saw ‘Endless Love’–because I was in full cute mood when BAM! an image of Lionel Richie in full 80s wardrobe came into my mind.

When we left Watson’s, I thought about what would it be like if I were given the privilege to name VS Body Mists. I also wanted to test my way with sensual wordplay. So I said to myself, I will write down the first few titles that would pop onto my mind:

1. Pleasurable Pastrami;
2. Mischievous Meatloaf;
3. Naughty Nuggets;
4. Salami Seduction;
5. Wave of Waffles.

Hhmm. I know I should be scared because god knows what will those hungry VS Angels would do to me when they hear the first two syllabes of ‘Pastrami’. While it made me realize I was a better fit over at ‘Vicky’s Secret Steakhouse’, I also learned three things: I do have a way for using such words especially when it comes to Italian protein; I could really succeed in menu writing, of course I can’t have ‘Naughty Nuggets’ so it has got to be a
special kind of food joint; which leads me to number three: how about opening a restaurant for the most likely heartbroken/PMS-suffering/overworked irrational eater? I can imagine it now…

Customer: Can I have..sniff..two orders..of..sniff..Passion Bacon and..sniff..Carbttini?

Me: Coming right up Ma’am! How about for dessert?

Customer: hhhmm sniff I’ll have Whispers of Whipped Cream please.

Wow. Just WOW. Thank you VS and all those people you force to snort glitter and come up with lines like “Lost in Fantasy”.

Blossoming Burrito
Enchalada Escape

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