Day 11: I can’t believe I ate all of that.

The title of this post pays tribute to the genius of a video that is the  “Sh*t Girls Say” series in YouTube.  It is my response to my “sporadic turned daily turned means of preserving sanity” consumption of junk food. I am fully aware of the consequence of this habit of course, but my irrational gastronomic desires leave me defenseless and defeated as I finish my bag of chips every three o’clock in the afternoon. I always convince myself that “I’m doing myself  a favor” or that “I deserve this” because of the heavy workload I am currently faced with. But when I peer at the empty packaging and the crumbs that indicate senseless devouring–I am left with the urge to stab myself with pencils. That’s how hostile I am whenever I  mix stress, trans fat and images of Miranda Kerr in my head.

To simply put, today was  extremely stressful and energy draining and it took me a while to write this sentence because I was too absorbed with licking the peanut butter remains off my fingers. Yes my non-existent fans, it is one of those days again. And seeing the result of the meeting earlier today, “one of those days” will gradually turn into EVERYDAY. Anyway, do I sound like I’m whining? Because I am half-not and half-am. Surprisingly, the root of my agony is not about the amount and nature of work given to me. In fact, I am happy for beginning understand and feeling eager to WERKK THIZZ BETCH ON DA FACE. However, I simply cannot deny the nagging reality that I am TIRED. EXHAUSTED. BEAT. Of work definitely, but not of blogging (I guess I am now enjoying what writers say about passion–you just do it).

Good thing I have with my friends from the junkfood industry. As Mr. Bennet describe Mrs. Bennet’s nerves, “They have been my constant companion”. Even though I hate the way they make me feel guilty and FATTER, I am beyond thankful for their unhealthy deliciousness.

****** I wrote this back January 11. I want to continue it today, January 13:

All I can say is, I’m insane.


About bellazoom

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